Would You Make a Great Surrogate?
6 Key Questions to Ask Yourself
While gestational surrogacy can be a truly rewarding and fulfilling experience, it is important to ask yourself some key questions before committing to the surrogacy process.
Is surrogacy the right choice for you? Would you make a great surrogate? And how can you be sure that you are fully prepared? It can be challenging to navigate these questions on your own, which is why it is crucial to seek the guidance of a reputable surrogacy agency. They can provide you with the support and resources you need to make an informed decision.
Here are some key questions to ask yourself when considering whether you have what it takes to be a successful surrogate (or surrogate mother as more traditionally known).
Are you physically and mentally fit for surrogacy?
Undergoing a thorough medical screening to determine whether you are physically healthy enough to carry a pregnancy to term, is the first step in any surrogacy journey. If you have had previous pregnancies without significant complications, and if you have a clean bill of health from your doctor, you may be a good candidate for surrogacy. It is also essential to consider your mental and emotional well-being. A psychological evaluation will also be a part of the first steps to becoming a surrogate. Surrogacy can be an emotionally challenging experience, and so it's important to have a strong support system in place, including counseling if necessary.
Do you meet the requirements set out by your surrogacy agency?
Surrogacy agencies have specific requirements that potential surrogates must meet to ensure the safety and well-being of everyone involved. Be sure to carefully review these requirements and ask questions to ensure you are fully prepared to meet them.
Are you ready to commit to the surrogacy process?
Surrogacy requires a significant time commitment, both in terms of appointments and personal attention. Before you embark on this journey, it is important to have a clear understanding of the time and energy you will need to devote to the process. You will also need to undergo frequent medical appointments and may be required to undergo invasive procedures. Additionally, surrogacy can be emotionally challenging, so it is important to have a strong support system in place. Consider how surrogacy may affect your relationships with loved ones, and be sure to talk to your partner, children, and other family members before making a decision.
Do you have a strong support system in place?
As mentioned, surrogacy requires a significant emotional and physical commitment, so it is important to have a strong support system in place. This includes practical support, such as help with childcare or transportation, as well as emotional support from friends, family, and professionals.
Have you completed your own family?
Before moving onto surrogacy, it's highly advisable to have already had all the children that you plan to have. With surrogacy, as with any pregnancy, complications can happen, and if you were to experience complications that resulted in your not being able to carry a pregnancy again, would you be okay with that?
Why do you want to be a surrogate?
Perhaps the most important question of all is why you want to become a surrogate. While it is reasonable to expect to be compensated for your time and effort, a true desire to help others is also critical. Make sure you have a deep sense of altruism and a genuine desire to make a difference in the lives of others. In conclusion, becoming a surrogate is an incredible journey that requires careful consideration and planning. With the right support system, mindset, and motivation, you can help make the dreams of another family come true. If you are ready to take the first step, contact a reputable surrogacy professional today to learn more.
Some additional questions...
Are you okay with carrying for any and all couples, or single individuals, same-sex couples (LGBTQ), straight, foreign, and domestic?
How many babies are you willing to carry?
Have you looked into the risks involved with carrying multiples?
Are you aware that each embryo has the possibility of splitting? What are your views on termination and selective reduction? Genetic testing? Amniocentesis?
Are you willing to pump breastmilk for the baby/babies after delivery?
What kind of relationship would you like to have with your Intended Parents – before, during, and after the surrogacy journey?
It's a lot to think about, but your surrogacy agency will be able to talk you through every decision your need to take.
It is your body that will be pregnant, and you have rights to say what you will and won’t do with your own body. At the same time, this will be the Intended Parents’ baby/babies, and they have the right to choose what they want for their children. So while you may be able to properly care for surprise triplets or a special needs child, they may not be, or may not want to. You have to think about it from their point of view, and what they would do if they were given the chance to carry the baby/babies themselves. That being said, whatever you decide on, do not match with Intended Parents whose views differ from yours, as it is a recipe for difficulties.
When you meet an Intended Parent (or are presented with their profile in the case of agencies) you will have a feeling of whether or not it’s a right match. Some surrogates explain it as a feeling of butterflies, or a feeling that "they are the ones".
Still, there are great matches that happen with no overwhelming “sign” or feeling, so don’t worry if you do not feel it at first. If you review a parent profile or meet potential Intended Parents and do not have a good feeling about it, do not proceed with them. Not everyone is meant to work together, and eventually, you will find the right Intended Parents for you. It is important to match with Intended Parents who are on the same page as you in regards to carrying a singleton or multiples, termination, reduction, any religious views that may come into play, and so on.